FUCK
so bECAUSE OF THE UPDATE I WENT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 12AM SO NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED THE POLICE AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 12AM SO I JUST SAID HOMESTUCK AND ONE OF THE COPS EYES SUDDENLY…
It had been a long day, the whizzing of bullets overhead had died down to a slow chirping noise. Crickets sang bravely in the distance. In the trenches with me were my comrades, my allies. Their names, unknown to me, yet their purpose was obvious: to try and take my money and give me a bad deal. “Pass the smokes, brother” I whispered to one beside me, to which he replied: “FREE SEX GO TO WWW.TRAP.NOTPORN.NIG”. I sighed and adjusted my helmet. Taking the last cigatette from my stash, I put it inbetween my lips, lit a match, and held it up to the cirarette, breathing in the gaseous relief. I exhaled in the dusk of the bitter winter wind. As I continued to smoke, I heard another of my nameless comerades say “GO TO WWW.GAYPENIS.FUK FOR FREE CHA-” he stopped for a moment, as I saw the expressionless look on his face, a sort of terror gripped his soul. I could feel it. A sudden, violent explosion had decimated most of my allies, along with most of the tunnels below. The spammers had been ground up and cooked before my eyes in an instant from the bomb that had dropped. I could hear nothing, but a faint ringing in my head, I was on the ground, in the mud, at the bottom of the trench. I quickly made an attemp to get up but only found myself staring into the sky as dozens of planes roared overhead. I knew what they were doing, so I began to run, away from the charred crater. Gripping my rifle, and my helmet, I ran through the trench, past many nameless robots that I called my “friends”. They shouted unintelligible spam at me as I ran, I didn’t warn them. The ground began to shake as I ran, the artillery exploding behind me. I felt them getting closer snd closer, then I felt someone grab me and pull me aside into one of the tunnels. I lay on the floor of the tunnel, shellshocked, and confused, my cigarette still burning. I raised a hand to wave at my savior, only to see that nobody was there. I quietly thanked whomever it was to myself as I stood up. I peeked out of the tunnel entrance, and what I saw I almost couldn’t comprehend. The entire tunnel system, flattened and destroyed, no remains existed of my “friends”. I was glad to be alive, but everyone I knew was dead. So I went through the tunnel blindly, slowly making my way through it. I remembered my lighter, and I pulled it out, wondering why I hadn’t used it to light my cigarette. I flipped open the top and quickly pressed down on the flint of the lighter, it’s flame came alive, lighting up the void of the tunnel. I saw an outline of a person creep out of sight. Perhaps it was my savior. Or perhaps a spy, or an assassin, here for my life. I readied my rifle as I flipped my lighter into the off position. I slowly began to proceed down the dark abyss. My every footstep, audible. My every thought, of death and danger. My hands holding my rifle tightly. I heard something once more and froze. Footsteps. Voices. I quickly ducked behind a box for cover. I held my breath as the person passed. Had they heard me? I did not know. I stood up after countless moments of pondering the risks of exposing myself. I looked around, still unable to see farther than a few feet ahead of me. I began to slowly walk down the tunnel once again, being cautious of every sound. I began to feel paranoid, and I ran, breathing heavily. I saw a light in the distance, I ran as fast as my legs could propell me. I burst through the door to find myself in a sewer. The smell, similar to that of charred advertisers, sickening, rancid, and dank. I saw a ladder leading upwards, I slung my rifle over my shoulder and began to climb. The rusty, decaying ladder was almost at breaking point, surprisingly it held against my weight. I propped open the manhole cover and climbed up to the street. I was safe. I was free.
Keep sending me spam. Bring it assholes. I will fuck you up. Bring a cactus too. (Cacti are badass)
FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
I no speak english.
Asshole.
